Writing in Active Voice

Assignment 3.1- Writing in Active Voice

 

In chapter 5 of your textbook, you learned about the different ways writers organize information. On page 46, you see that some writers choose to organize their information by time, or chronological organization. In other textbooks, this type of time-related organization is called process analysis. In chapter 38 of your textbook, you learned about active and passive voice.  

 

This week you will write one paragraph that that is organized chronologically (see p.46). For the paragraph, imagine that you are writing a medical report related to your health-related profession. The following is an example of a report a paramedic wrote:

 

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This crew responded to a call for a 58 year old male that was dispatched by phone call from a local resident for chest pressure. Unit responded immediately with lights and sirens to the scene. The chief complaint for the patient is CHEST PAIN. The primary problem appears to be CHEST PAIN WITH NAUSEA AND VOMITING. Upon arrival to the scene we found the patient sitting on a chair at his residence. The general impression of the patient was moderate distress. Fire department personnel were on scene. FD assisted with placing patient onto ambulance cot. FD has provided a driver due to severity of patient. FD placed patient on oxygen via a mask. Patient was assisted up, pivoted, placed onto wheeled stretcher. Patient was secured to stretcher using stretcher straps and stretcher was secured into ambulance. Patient was positioned on stretcher in semi-fowlers position. History was obtained from patient. This problem began 30 minutes before. This is occasional problem for the patient. The last time this occurred was 2 months ago. This is a chronic problem that is severe now. Before our arrival, the patient had taken nitro x3. Nitro has provided no relief. The patient was sitting watching TV at his residence and began to notice numbness and pain to left shoulder into his arm. He took his nitro but the pain persisted. He decided to call 911, but contacted his local ambulance service instead. Patient requests transport to Emergency Department for evaluation. The paramedic has performed a complete head to toe ALS assessment on the patient. Patient is conscious and alert. Patient is oriented to person, place and time. This is normal for the patient.

 

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Notice how the writer in the above report mixes active and passive voice (p.402) as he documents his experience. When you write, your writing should be in the active voice to help the reader identify the ‘doer’ of the action. In the past, it was common for medical personnel and police officers to use the passive voice. However, writing in passive voice creates problems. See the following article (Links to an external site.) to see why the use of passive voice sentences in police reports creates problems. 

 

For Week 3, write a paragraph that serves as a medical report in your field. Make sure to use active voice as you delineate a process from beginning to end. The goal of this writing is to be informative, not creative. If you would like to read an example of a process analysis paragraph that is organized chronologically using first person, check out this essayPreview the document

 

Step 1: Review chronological order (p.46) and active voice (p.402)

 

Step 2: Write a one-paragraph process report in the active voice. Imagine that you are writing a report regarding a medical situation related to your health-related field. 

 

Step 3: Submit the paragraph to the instructor dropbox.