Admission essay for colllege

We would like to know more about your interest in NYU. What motivated you to apply to NYU? Why have you applied or expressed interest in a particular campus, school, college, program, and or area of study? If you have applied to more than one, please also tell us why you are interested in these additional areas of study or campuses. We want to understand – Why NYU? Maximum: 400 words

I attached a draft which provide some basic info about me (like my favorite major: Business, activity, etc)